February 2009

Economists see deeper recession, upturn starting this year - Feb. 23, 2009.

Good to hear that at least someone is predicting a bottom to this damned thing.  I’ll take that as a positive sign.

This was originally posted as a note my Facebook…inspired by a meme brought to my attention by Al Yukna.  It was alot of fun…and thought that it deserved archiving here as well.

I’m putting them in order of “when I first discovered them” because “life context” is important.

01) Michael Jackson - Thriller
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thriller_(album)
The coolest thing that a third grader had ever heard. It was ubiquitous.

02) Prince - Purple Rain
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purple_rain
Manuel Sampedro’s sister took him and I to see it at the Strand Theater in Dundalk…and we were only eleven (that shit was rated R). I was physically moved (pun intended) by Apollonia…and Prince’s music. Later, I discovered how truly remarkable a musician he is.

03) Licensed to Ill - Beastie Boys
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Licensed_To_Ill
Eighth grade - the combination of beats, the three different voices, and the sexual innuendo were enough to keep that tape in my knock-off Walkman at all times.

04) Follow the Leader - Eric B. and Rakim
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Follow_the_Leader_(Eric_B._and_Rakim_album)
Freshman year. Ryan Heidel. Learning to wrestle. Black Russell hoodie. Sup. THIS is hip-hop.

05) The Cure - Kiss Me Kiss Me Kiss Me
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kiss_Me_Kiss_Me_Kiss_Me
Summer before Sophomore Year. PT Flaggs. Tony Pegas. Black and white-clad lunacy ensures.

06) Depeche Mode - Music for the Masses
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Music_For_The_Masses
The “Thriller” of its genre. They sold out the frickin’ Rose Bowl and put out a live double album.

07) Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wish_You_Were_Here_(album)
Got to Calvert Hall. Toned down the black cladness…but still brought the two-step. They didn’t have Pink Floyd in my house growing up. Learned to play guitar in order to play “Wish You Were Here”. Thank fucking God for that song. I still play my guitar virtually every day.

08) Dave Matthews Band - Remember Two Things
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Remember_Two_Things
This would be number one. Without it, I wouldn’t have given a fuck about the internet. Could you imagine me if I would have stayed in graduate school? Oh no. I owe this album everything. I named my frickin’ first born after it. That shit is devotion, man.

09) Sasha + John Digweed - Northern Exposure Vol 2
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Northern_Exposure_2
This album was an escape when I was miserable in graduate school. I would come home, go up in the spare room in Canton, crank this, and dance in my chair while designing and building websites on the side. This album literally made my engagement happen. And we even saw Digweed in Ibiza. Insane.

10) Thievery Corporation - Sounds from the Thievery Hi-Fi
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sounds_from_the_Thievery_Hi-Fi
Mike B spinning “The Blue One” and “The Red One” provided the soundtrack to my life in the years after college. Adam, Leon, Chip. Music was a part of everything that we did. And it was pretty cool when I walked into Gr8 for the “I’m still in grad school…but I’m looking to get out” interview, this album was playing. It was either fate…or I was seduced by the devil.

11) Cafe Del Mar - Volumen Cinco
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cafe_del_mar#Volume_5_.28cinco.29
Bought it at a record shop in Ibiza on the recommendation of the dood in the shop. Perfect record for what it is and represents. Madonna named it her favorite album of ‘98. Nik and I share the love for this album. It’s “ours” if you will.

12) Nuyorican Soul - Nuyorican Soul
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nuyorican_Soul
The world’s best house producers collaborate with the world’s best jazz and latin musicians to create the magnus opus of house music. I am still a firm believer in latin and deep house. That shit is spiritual. Body and Soul in Central Park. That actually happened.

13) John Mayer - Inside Wants Out
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inside_Wants_Out
Acoustic guitar has been a constant in my life since “Wish You Were Here”. This dood breathes new life into the instrument. Dave Matthews’ playing gave me a similar reaction…”what the fuck is he playing? i gotta learn that!”

14) Stevie Wonder - Songs in the Key of Life
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Songs_in_the_Key_of_Life
Didn’t discover the whole album until I really understood music. It may be one of the best pieces ever written (and performed). Truly a work of musical genius.

15) Doves - The Last Broadcast
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Last_Broadcast_(album)
Hadn’t gotten excited about a new band in a long, long time when I heard this. It blew me away. Three doods did this? Sulfur Man, literally, could be my favorite song of all times. That is not a lie.

Hope the descriptions weren’t too self-indulgent…but I really enjoyed doing this.

I’ve always considered myself to be a pretty well-adjusted guy.  All of my life, things have sort of worked out for me.  I’ve been very fortunate in this respect.  Ultimately, I believe that everything happens as it is supposed to happen and that the only thing that we really control is our own perception.

This outlook has served me pretty well for the overwhelming majority of my 35 years on this earth.

Recently, however, the impending economic doom and the global sense of unrest have really started to get to me.  It sort of seems like we’re all fucked and that it’s just a matter of time before the whole fucking thing just breaks down.  Frightening.  And paralyzing.  Which is part of the problem.

Either way, I was thinking about it last night..trying to understand the root of my personal fear.  Since I’ve always felt that I’ve been blessed and, no matter what, things seem to always work out for me…then why is this time different than any other.

What I realized was that this impending doom has me frightened about losing what I already have…when, at any other time in my life, I really didn’t have anything to lose.  Before, I was on the bottom looking up.  From my current vantage point, I can look down…and that is the root of my fear.

But then I thought more deeply about it.  What do you have to lose?  Your house?  You can always get another one.  Your business?  I did actually work before I had my company?  Your kids?  They’re not going anywhere.  Your wife?  She was there before you had anything, so why would it matter if we had nothing again.  She’s with you.  No worries there.

So it really comes down to vanity.  It has to be.  And, realistically, that’s fucking stupid.

I am never sharper or more efficient then when on a deadline…and never more fierce when my back is against a wall.  If this is the case, then what is there to fear?  Nothing.  It’s actually an opportunity to evolve…to be better…to restore harmony and balance to a wildly unbalanced world.

It seems to me, that moving forward, the key is truly understanding our problems.  If we are concentrating on the right things, then we can solve them.  If we understand how the world is changing, then we can adapt to it.  I sincerely believe that.  And its also why I am happy that a younger,  smarter, more “connected” guy is in the White House.  I’m not saying that he’s the messiah by any means…but at least it feels like he is a clear and lucid thinker…and he has the charisma to influence and inspire others to action.  And isn’t that what we need…an understanding of how our environment is changing, a clear plan for adaptation to this changing world, and the motivation of execute on this plan?

It kinda comes back to good ole’ Charles Darwin, who recently celebrated his 200th birthday.  What we are experiencing right now is a fundamental environmental shift.  It is clear that status quo is under attack.  We’ve been abusing everything…credit, other people, the planet, our own bodies.

The environment (figuratively and literally) has responded in kind.  The equilibrium has shifted…because we have shifted it.  We’re just a bunch of self-aware monkeys.  And the universe has reasserted its dominance over us.

We can stand paralyzed by fear of these changes or we can adapt to these changes.  What we are experiencing right now IS evolutionary selective pressure.

As these concepts began to really sink in, I started to realize that the reason that things always seemed to work out for me is that I actually have really good adaptive skills.  I’m the proverbial “jack of all trades / master of none” type.  In my life, I’ve been a biochemist and an advertising creative director.  I’ve been an athlete and a scholar…a dork and a cool guy.  I’m wildly interested in spirituality and science.  I think broadly and deeply.  And I am not afraid of hard work (although I try to avoid it whenever possible).

It seems that no matter the situation, I’ve found a way to adapt.

So, although I am a little uneasy…I am no longer afraid.  Because realistically, what am I afraid of?  I’ve come to a place in my own head where I’m actually contemplating being proactive about change.  I want to start working on bigger problems than selling organic soup or brown sugar water.  I want to be part of the solution.  I’m not sure yet what that entails…but the time for comfort in the current situation has passed.  We’re at a point of transition…a point of profound inflection.

Sure, its a little scary.  But when is the unknown warm and fuzzy?  But I’m really starting to see this as an opportunity…the selective pressure required to elevate to the next level.  Maybe I’m not supposed to be what I am right now.  Maybe I’m not supposed to be doing what I am doing.  Maybe I’m not supposed to be living in this house…typing on this computer.

Growing up, I always wanted what I have now.  OK.  Great.  So does that mean that I’m done?  Great job dood.  No more challenges required.  You can die now.

Fuck that!  I’m starting to believe that this kick-in-the-nuts is exactly what I need.  I’ve always risen to the occasion.  Why would this be any different?  Because I have more to lose?  Like I said in the beginning of this rant, everything that really matters is going nowhere.

Bring it on.  All of sudden, I feel like Lt. Dan in the middle of a hurricane.  Maybe what I am truly afraid of is that I’ve never aimed high enough.  Perhaps this is the time that I find out.