I’ve always considered myself to be a pretty well-adjusted guy.  All of my life, things have sort of worked out for me.  I’ve been very fortunate in this respect.  Ultimately, I believe that everything happens as it is supposed to happen and that the only thing that we really control is our own perception.

This outlook has served me pretty well for the overwhelming majority of my 35 years on this earth.

Recently, however, the impending economic doom and the global sense of unrest have really started to get to me.  It sort of seems like we’re all fucked and that it’s just a matter of time before the whole fucking thing just breaks down.  Frightening.  And paralyzing.  Which is part of the problem.

Either way, I was thinking about it last night..trying to understand the root of my personal fear.  Since I’ve always felt that I’ve been blessed and, no matter what, things seem to always work out for me…then why is this time different than any other.

What I realized was that this impending doom has me frightened about losing what I already have…when, at any other time in my life, I really didn’t have anything to lose.  Before, I was on the bottom looking up.  From my current vantage point, I can look down…and that is the root of my fear.

But then I thought more deeply about it.  What do you have to lose?  Your house?  You can always get another one.  Your business?  I did actually work before I had my company?  Your kids?  They’re not going anywhere.  Your wife?  She was there before you had anything, so why would it matter if we had nothing again.  She’s with you.  No worries there.

So it really comes down to vanity.  It has to be.  And, realistically, that’s fucking stupid.

I am never sharper or more efficient then when on a deadline…and never more fierce when my back is against a wall.  If this is the case, then what is there to fear?  Nothing.  It’s actually an opportunity to evolve…to be better…to restore harmony and balance to a wildly unbalanced world.

It seems to me, that moving forward, the key is truly understanding our problems.  If we are concentrating on the right things, then we can solve them.  If we understand how the world is changing, then we can adapt to it.  I sincerely believe that.  And its also why I am happy that a younger,  smarter, more “connected” guy is in the White House.  I’m not saying that he’s the messiah by any means…but at least it feels like he is a clear and lucid thinker…and he has the charisma to influence and inspire others to action.  And isn’t that what we need…an understanding of how our environment is changing, a clear plan for adaptation to this changing world, and the motivation of execute on this plan?

It kinda comes back to good ole’ Charles Darwin, who recently celebrated his 200th birthday.  What we are experiencing right now is a fundamental environmental shift.  It is clear that status quo is under attack.  We’ve been abusing everything…credit, other people, the planet, our own bodies.

The environment (figuratively and literally) has responded in kind.  The equilibrium has shifted…because we have shifted it.  We’re just a bunch of self-aware monkeys.  And the universe has reasserted its dominance over us.

We can stand paralyzed by fear of these changes or we can adapt to these changes.  What we are experiencing right now IS evolutionary selective pressure.

As these concepts began to really sink in, I started to realize that the reason that things always seemed to work out for me is that I actually have really good adaptive skills.  I’m the proverbial “jack of all trades / master of none” type.  In my life, I’ve been a biochemist and an advertising creative director.  I’ve been an athlete and a scholar…a dork and a cool guy.  I’m wildly interested in spirituality and science.  I think broadly and deeply.  And I am not afraid of hard work (although I try to avoid it whenever possible).

It seems that no matter the situation, I’ve found a way to adapt.

So, although I am a little uneasy…I am no longer afraid.  Because realistically, what am I afraid of?  I’ve come to a place in my own head where I’m actually contemplating being proactive about change.  I want to start working on bigger problems than selling organic soup or brown sugar water.  I want to be part of the solution.  I’m not sure yet what that entails…but the time for comfort in the current situation has passed.  We’re at a point of transition…a point of profound inflection.

Sure, its a little scary.  But when is the unknown warm and fuzzy?  But I’m really starting to see this as an opportunity…the selective pressure required to elevate to the next level.  Maybe I’m not supposed to be what I am right now.  Maybe I’m not supposed to be doing what I am doing.  Maybe I’m not supposed to be living in this house…typing on this computer.

Growing up, I always wanted what I have now.  OK.  Great.  So does that mean that I’m done?  Great job dood.  No more challenges required.  You can die now.

Fuck that!  I’m starting to believe that this kick-in-the-nuts is exactly what I need.  I’ve always risen to the occasion.  Why would this be any different?  Because I have more to lose?  Like I said in the beginning of this rant, everything that really matters is going nowhere.

Bring it on.  All of sudden, I feel like Lt. Dan in the middle of a hurricane.  Maybe what I am truly afraid of is that I’ve never aimed high enough.  Perhaps this is the time that I find out.